Having the ability to say “I went through a tough situation and survived” is a testament to the strength a person carries. Each person has had their share of struggles. Becoming a single mom was not on my bucket list. However, each situation that has been thrown my way, from the every day single mom exhaustion and raising my children on my own, to the constant negativity that others have directed at me, trying to make me feel “less than” has only made me a stronger person. Like I’ve stated before, we can’t control what others say or do, but we can choose how we respond to what they say or do. What others say and do is a reflection of their character; how I respond is a reflection of mine. I am proud of the situations and adversities I have survived. And we all should be proud of what we have overcome. But I want to do more than just survive a situation, I want to come out a better person and thrive to the point that others have hope because of what they have seen me overcome.
Surviving literally means, “continuing to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship.” Thriving means, “to prosper or flourish.” So regardless of the situation, instead of just living or existing with the things that we are dealt, choose to flourish in spite of the hardships. When you look up the definition of what it means to flourish it states, “to develop or grow in a healthy way, especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.” It caught my attention when it mentioned “especially as the result of a particularly favorable environment.” What we surround ourselves with and allow in our lives will either cultivate or stunt our mental, emotional, and spiritual health. We get to choose!
You may ask, “How do I get to the point of thriving and not just surviving?” Sometimes just getting through a situation feels like it takes all the strength we have. You are stronger than you think. The first step is believing you are worth more than just surviving. And believe me, you are!
Here are a few things that I’ve discovered to help me thrive in life…
1. Get to know who you are.
As mothers, especially, we tend to put our dreams and hopes on the back burner for our children. We forget about the things we used to enjoy as young women before children. Take time and ask yourself some deep questions. Make a list of the things you like or dislike, value or don’t value. Think about what you would do if you had a short time to live, sometimes that helps us weed out the superficial things. Maybe there are things you have wanted to try and haven’t yet. Go for it! You were a person before you were someone’s mama. Spend some time doing the things you enjoy; your children will thank you for it! When we truly know who we are and who God created us to be, we gain confidence.
2. Do something every day that gets you closer to your goals.
It’s the small, everyday choices that get us to our big goals. I’m all about setting a large goal, but I have also realized it’s in the consistency of the small choices that helps us reach our big goal. Be proud of getting yourself to that goal. If you miss the mark one day, that’s ok, don’t beat yourself up over it. Get up tomorrow and do better. You’re working daily to be a better version of the person you were yesterday. Something that has helped me is to write everything down. We have a lot going on in our minds, so it helps to be able to visualize those things and get them organized on paper.
3. Surround yourself with people who are where you want to be.
When you are focused on becoming a better person — breaking habits, setting goals, whatever it may be, look for people who have attained those things and surround yourself with them. When you are trying to grow in certain areas of your life, you don’t surround yourself with the people who have the same bad habits you’re trying to break. You find those who will encourage and inspire you to do and be better.
4. Stay healthy — mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
Having balance is key to being able to “juggle” our everyday lives as mothers. You have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. Take some time for yourself without feeling guilty. Sometimes we just need to decompress and process our situation so we have a plan. Get a planner or organizer. Staying organized in life will help cut out any unnecessary stress.
Protect your mental and emotional health by ignoring the negativity of others. Stop allowing other people’s words and choices to control your mood. You begin to find peace when you stop letting other people or events control you.
Staying healthy physically can seem overwhelming at times. Start slow. Go for a walk, take a hike, dance with your kids, just get moving. More important than moving physically is what we put in our body. Drink enough water. Eat more vegetables. When we take care of our bodies, it helps us feel better mentally as well. Baby steps.
Staying spiritually healthy is extremely important to me. My life has more peace, joy, and strength when I take the time to focus on my relationship with God. Whether it’s reading a devotional, studying the Bible, or playing worship music, I know when I make the time to do those things I am more centered in life.
Always be proud of what you have overcome. Take those obstacles and rise above so you can be a beacon of hope to someone else. And most of all, take the dirt you’ve been buried under and bring life and flourish.
Fierce Mama 
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