2019…..Focus

As the year ends we begin to think about the positive changes we want to make for the upcoming year, along with the goals we want to set and achieve. When I began to think about these things I wanted to try something new. I decided to choose a word that would become my theme for the year. I chose the word “Focus.” For me that word will encompass several areas of my life, and will be a daily reminder of my goals. So here are a few things that I am committed to focus on…

1. Focus on my relationship with God. It’s very easy to let the things going on around us take our focus off spending time with, and growing our relationship with God. It doesn’t matter how long you have been a Christian, there is always room to grow and learn. As a single mom, especially, it can become easy to turn our focus on finding a man to “complete” our family unit. Ultimately, we long for that companionship, that’s not a bad thing because God created us to have that. But it cannot become our ultimate goal or focus.  What I have been discovering the last few years is to focus on becoming the person God has purposed and destined for me to be instead of putting so much energy into trying to find that man I want to be with. A healthy relationship isn’t two “half people” making a whole, it is two whole, healthy people becoming one under Christ’s covering. God knows every desire of our hearts, but he also knows when you’re truly ready to handle a relationship. I am trusting that God knows what is best for me. And while I am in this period of waiting, I will continue to build my faith and confidence in God and who He has created me to be.

2. Focus on the positive in every situation. Sometimes we get stuck seeing the negative in situations or people. I am focused on finding the positive in the situations I have to navigate, no matter how difficult it may be. There are situations we have to deal with because of what others have done or spoken, and other situations are simply consequences of our choices.
I want to focus on what I can learn from the struggles I walk through. Instead of questioning why things are happening the way they are, I get to decide if they will define me, confine me, or refine me. I can allow these struggles to define my worth; I can allow them to make me a prisoner; or I can let them burn away the negative things that are not beneficial. When gold is purified through the fire, the impurities rise to the top, and the refiner scrapes them away making the gold even more valuable. I want these situations to cause the negative things in my life to rise to the top, so I can work through them and come out stronger in the end.

3. Focus on raising healthy, strong, independent children. Motherhood can be overwhelming, especially when doing it by yourself. It will feel like you’re being pulled in every direction possible and can be overwhelming. It’s easy to get so focused on the daily routines of getting out the door on time, keeping up with the chores, making dinner, getting the kids where they need to be, and all the details of being a mom. But I want to stop and take time to encourage each of my children to be confident in who God has created them to be, to spend quality time with them, and remind them how much I love them.  Children won’t remember all the toys or things they had growing up. They remember who was consistently in their life, and who was there when they needed someone the most. Each of my children are so different and unique in their own way, and I want to be the one that motivates them to be the best they can be. And that is no easy task. Some days as a single mom, it feels like I do good just to get the dinner on the table and keep up with laundry. But I remind myself of the bigger picture, and one day they will be grown adults and I want to be proud that I did the best I could for them to accomplish their dreams.

4. Focus on myself. I don’t mean that in a conceited or selfish way, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself. Our children deserve healthy, happy mothers. So take some “me time.” Go get a pedicure. Plan a girls’ night out with your closest friends. Workout. Whatever it is that relaxes you. DO THAT. For me, sometimes I just need some time to sit in the quietness of my home, or clean and organize a closet. I know that sounds crazy, but cleaning and organizing are relaxing to me. As mothers, we tend to feel bad if we take time for ourselves because we see the lists that are never ending, the children that need taken care of, or whatever may need done.  We justify putting off that time because there is so much to do. But I can tell you that your children will appreciate a happy mother over a clean house. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have a clean house, and the children are capable of helping keep it clean. But don’t stress yourself out over a dirty house and not take that needed time for yourself. Let’s get real, moms…we deserve it!

For our family Thanksgiving, my sister purchased this really neat kit that you can “stamp” a word on a piece of metal and wear it as a bracelet, necklace, keychain, etc. The purpose is to choose a word that will inspire or encourage you, or a word that means something to you. This is where I began to pursue the idea of using my word to challenge me through this next year. And I thought putting my word on a bracelet was a great way to help me remember the word on a daily basis. Every time I look at my wrist I will see a reminder to FOCUS.
If you are interested in creating your own piece, you can find more info at My Intent.