Welcome to Fierce Mom of Three! I’m so excited that you are here to join me on this journey, I pray that I can encourage you and inspire you to step outside of your comfort zone and accomplish things you have only dreamed about. Achieving your dreams is an absolute possibility! Whether you’re a single mom, a working mom, or a stay-at-home mom, never doubt the potential inside of you!
This first blog post will take you on the journey of what led me to writing this blog, and sharing my life with all of you.
I became a single mom at 17 – – that in itself is very overwhelming. Feeling the judgment of people was extremely difficult. Being a pastor’s kid made the judgment from some even more harsh. Regardless of age, your world is completely changed when you have a child. And this little boy became my world!
I was in an on-and-off relationship with his dad from the age of 16. Through my journey, I’ve had two more children, married their dad, and that relationship ended in divorce. I have experienced first hand the struggles of parenting on my own, as a 17 year old, trying to figure out how to survive this moment in life, and as a mom left to pull the pieces together for my children and become both mom and dad.
Looking back now on the struggles I faced, I was trying to make a relationship work that should have never been. I wanted to make something good come from my bad choices, so I thought, but I only ended up causing myself more pain by staying in an unhealthy relationship. I continued to stay in this unhealthy relationship for the kids. Let me tell you, that is the biggest mistake and biggest lie you can believe. Staying in a relationship for the kids’ sake doesn’t make the relationship better. You only bring the children along to witness the mental and emotional damage you are putting up with and allowing yourself to go through. And you’re showing them what to expect from a relationship.
I was living my life in a ritualistic manner and just trying to get through each day, but never really living and enjoying life. I was in a cycle of unhealthy habits and accepting unhealthy behavior from the person that I believed I loved the most, and who I believed loved me.
In 2015, my life was forever changed, my husband packed up his things and demanded a divorce. In that moment, I believed it to be the end for me. And the bottom at which I would forever sit and never physically, mentally, or emotionally recover. I was left picking up the pieces of my shattered heart and life. Every moment felt as though I was grasping at the last remaining fragments of my life and trying to piece them together. In that moment I was completely broken – – mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
The biggest struggle I faced was having this mental picture of how my life was supposed to look. But suddenly that was ripped away and I was left with so many questions about my life. I went through a roller coaster of emotions, and questioning my worth because I had placed my worth and identity in a human. There were days all I could do was cry, and I was unable to function properly. It felt as though my emotions were constantly on edge, and it took everything in me not to lose it at the simplest things. I began to get callused because it was easier to cover the emotional damage with a hard exterior just to feel like I had some sort of control in my life.
I spent years placing all my hopes and dreams in a person who was not made to fulfill them. This may sound absolutely crazy to some, but my divorce was the best thing to happen to me. It takes losing what you’ve settled for to realize what you deserve. I had settled for going through the motions in my life and especially in my marriage. I settled for being belittled, taken for granted, and giving everything I had to a relationship that was not good for me or my kids. Becoming, not only single, but a single mother pushed me into discovering what I was really made of. I was stronger and braver than I had ever realized. It also gave me the courage to try new things and go on adventures I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing before. I flew on an airplane for the first time and traveled more than I had in years, but this time, I got to share it with my children. I also decided to go back to college and finished my degree graduating with honors. Never doubt that you have the potential or ability to become what you have dreamed to become!
In this season of my life, I could have become a victim of my circumstances. But the one thing I vowed not to do, was to become a victim, or live with a victim mentality. I could not have made it through that time in my life without my family and close friends. This is why it’s so important to find your tribe. When you are sitting in a place of such despair and hopelessness, you will need those people who will encourage and pray for you. Many times these people were the ones who got me through my roughest days.
If you’re going through a hard time, find that tribe that can be there to support you. If you have that friend that is going through a hard time, just be there for them and let them know you aren’t going anywhere no matter how ugly the situation may be.I don’t know what your story may be, but remember you are never alone on your journey.
I want to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures, “For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 (AMP)
Love to all,
Fierce Mama 
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